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You can wash your vehicle in the rain, but should you?

That’s the dilemma I faced on a soggy Sunday afternoon. It had been a while since I took hose, soap and sponge to my old pickup truck. In that time, it collected road dust, tree sap and a few splotches I could not identify.

My significant other mentioned a few times the increasingly grungy nature of my ride.

These were subtle hints like, “Maybe you should wash your truck” or “I don’t think I have ever seen a dirtier vehicle” or “You could not pay me to be seen in that thing.”

“Now you wait a goldurn minute,” I finally said, letting her know who wears the pants in this relationship. “This is an 18-year-old truck made for hard work and rambunctious play, not some shiny toy for a drugstore cowboy who gets his Calvin Klein’s in a knot when something scratches the bed. Why, in the last year I’ve hauled a load of mulch, a propane tank, a ... uh, well, that’s about it. That said, I will wash my truck when I get good and darn well ready.”

That night, as I tossed and turned on the couch, I figured I was good and darn well ready.

But then it rained. And it rained the next day and the next, and I kept putting it off until the truck needed to go into the shop, not because it was dirty but because of engine problems.

I’m not mechanically inclined, but even I knew when a vehicle idles like an off-balance washing machine on spin cycle and the engine service light flashes like slot machine jackpot, the vehicle needs a trip to the shop.

To be honest, I didn’t want the fellows at the shop seeing how dirty my truck was at that point. I imagined they would shake their heads, and one would tip back his cap and say, “When do you think he’ll get good and darn well ready to wash this thing?”

Because it was apparently the monsoon season, it continued to rain right through the day before the trip to the shop. Since I had already proven I wear the pants, I pulled on a pair I didn’t mind getting wet and told my significant other, “I’m going out to wash the truck.”

“It’s raining,” she said. “The neighbors are going to think you’re on drugs.”

“I am on drugs,” I said. “I chased down my statin with a beta blocker and half a bottle of Maalox. I’m bouncing off the freakin’ walls.”

First, though, I needed to consult the all-knowing, all-seeing internet to find out if washing a vehicle in the rain is a good idea.

“In my own personal (and a bit crazy) opinion is that one of the best times to wash your car is actually WHEN it is raining,” writes the author of an article on DriveDetailed. “As far as I’m concerned there are no REAL negatives of washing your car in the rain.”

He notes the positives as saving time and water on pre-rinse and helping to wash off shampoo.

The website CarwashCountry says, “In general, it’s not a good idea to actually wash your car in the rain if you are concerned with water spots.”

Then there is pollution in some parts of the country.

“Substances left behind by acid rain can etch into the clear coat of your car over time and make it harder to restore later on,” says the author.

Plus, the neighbors will think you’re on drugs.

After much conflicting information on the internet, I hitched up the pants I wear in the relationship, went outside in the rain and washed that truck.

You know why? Because I was good and darn well ready. And the couch is uncomfortable.

Scott Hollifield is editor of The McDowell News in Marion and a humor columnist. Email him at rhollifield@mcdowellnews.com.

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